How can I stop thinking about death?

If you are worried about death or dying, knowing that you are not alone might be of some comfort. It is one of the most common fears that people have.

You may be afraid of death because you have never talked about it with anyone before, or maybe someone you were close to died suddenly. Many people are not really sure why they have started obsessing over death.

If you, your child, or someone you know is finding it difficult to enjoy life because of worrying thoughts about death and dying, here is some information that may help.

What is thanatophobia?

Thanatophobia, also known as death anxiety, is a type of anxiety that makes you scared and anxious when you think about death and the process of dying. It can be either your own death or someone else’s.

This fear can range from feeling a little uneasy to being so afraid that it can fill you with unmanageable worry and make you unwell.

Being afraid of death is at the heart of several mental health conditions, like depression, anxiety, psychopathology, and obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). It can affect you in many ways, including avoiding friends and family who may be coming to the end of their life, or staying home and avoiding taking part in daily life.

Fear of death can have many influences thank could link to your own beliefs, how your culture sees death, your past experiences, and your personality.

Ways to manage the fear of dying

Learning to manage your fear of dying can be a gradual process. Here are some strategies that may help you:

• Talk about your fears: Discussing your fears with friends, family, or a support network can be therapeutic. Sometimes, just expressing your feelings can provide relief.
• Limit exposure to triggering content: Avoid excessive exposure to the media or content that intensifies your fears.
• Gratitude practice: Keep a gratitude journal or spend time regularly reflecting on the positive aspects of your life. This can help balance negative thoughts and promote a positive outlook.
• Mindfulness and grounding techniques: Practice mindfulness or grounding exercises to stay in the present moment and reduce anxiety related to thoughts of death.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT is a therapeutic approach that helps challenge and change negative thought patterns and behaviors. It can effectively address thanatophobia.
• Exposure therapy: In the case of thanatophobia, this may involve talking or thinking about death in a safe environment with a licensed therapist to help desensitize your fear response.
• Support groups: Joining a support group or community where people discuss their death-related fears and experiences can offer reassurance and provide a sense of belonging.

Seeking help for yourself or someone else

If you, your child, or someone you know is living with the fear of death, there are people and places that you can turn to for help:

• Talk with a therapist: Therapists, counselors, and psychologists can help with feelings of panic and fear. They are experts at dealing with anxiety and phobias, including the fear of death. You can find a licensed therapist by either talking with your insurance provider or searching online.
• Look for local mental health clinics or hospitals: Your community might have clinics or hospitals that provide mental health services. You can contact them directly to ask about resources for anxiety and phobias.
• Contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI): NAMI is a group supporting people with mental health difficulties and their families. They have valuable resources and lists of support groups.
• Call 988, text, or chat online: If you, or someone you know, is feeling overwhelmed and needs immediate help, you can call 988 Lifeline. You will connect with trained therapists from over 200 crisis centers across the United States. It’s free, confidential, available 24/7, and they can help you find the right services in your local area.

How to talk with children about death

Explanations should be brief and simple when talking with young children about any subject. It’s important to let them know it’s okay to talk about death and encourage them to ask any questions they may have.

A 2018 study suggests that young children can benefit from being exposed to nature and information on the biological process of life and death.

Focusing on the life cycle may help children better understand the overall concept of death and dying, so talking about death can be easier when discussing flowers, trees, or insects.

Contacting a doctor

If fear is making it difficult for you to manage your day-to-day routine, it can sometimes be necessary to reach out to a primary care physician for help. They may initially investigate the possibility of a mood disorder and suggest speaking with a therapist or other qualified mental health professional.

Alongside therapy, a doctor may also recommend some medications, with some of the first-line options including:

• Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs):
  • fluoxetine (Prozac)
  • sertraline (Zoloft)
• Serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs):
  • venlafaxine (Effexor)
  • duloxetine (Cymbalta)

These medications can help with anxiety, depression, and other symptoms of mental health conditions.

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Summary

The fear of death can affect people at almost any age.

When trying to overcome death anxiety, talking about it with friends, family, and people who are experiencing the same fear may help.

CBT and exposure therapy, supported by a qualified and licensed therapist, can effectively treat you if you feel more intensely afraid.

If the fear is making it difficult to manage everyday life, there are also medications that could ease symptoms.

Download the free Optum Perks Discount Card to save up to 80% on some prescription medications.