Why might you be feeling anxious after a breakup?

Relationship breakups can be hugely influential, not just in how they change your daily life and routine, but in the long-term effects they can have. For some people, breakups can be a traumatic event, which can also affect their mental health.

You may experience continual worry about what you could have done differently, leading to unhealthy thought patterns brought on by post-breakup anxiety.

Other signs of anxiety may include:

• intrusive thoughts
• difficulty sleeping
• trouble concentrating
• racing thoughts

Multiple factors can trigger anxiety, and experiences such as a romantic breakup can cause underlying symptoms to bubble to the surface.

Anxiety after a breakup

Everyone handles relationship breakups differently.

There is no right or wrong way — the most important thing is to be kind to yourself through this initially upsetting time. The end of a romantic relationship or friendship is rarely easy and can shake your sense of self.

How you process the emotions that come with a breakup may depend on your attachment style.

They stem from the theory of attachment, which claims that the various ways people attach in relationships may come from their emotional bonds or the absence of emotional bonds during childhood.  

People with anxious attachment styles are more likely to experience anxiety symptoms and more severe distress during a breakup.

Still, just because you may experience the negative parts of a relationship breakup more intensely doesn’t mean you will not come out the other side.

Research from 2013 indicates how a heightened sensitivity to feeling distressed and upset during a breakup can, in a way, help people with anxious attachment styles develop as individuals.

The study proposes that the self-reflection that comes with an anxious attachment style can lead to greater personal growth as a result.

Still, it does not necessarily mean this is the most healthy way to approach a breakup or any following anxiety.

Anxiety treatment options

Experiencing anxiety during a breakup can be difficult, but there are steps you can take at home to help reduce and manage emotional stress.

Some ways of soothing your mind and body include:

• Staying active: Exercise can help you use some of that anxious energy and divert your attention away from your breakup. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, a 10-minute walk can be just as beneficial as a 45-minute workout for relieving anxiety.  
• Avoid alcohol: While it can be tempting to have a drink to take the edge off your anxiety, there is a strong link between drinking alcohol and worsening symptoms of anxiety.
• Meditation: Meditation can help you feel calmer and decrease negative thought patterns. It can also allow you to be more present, which is a feeling you can carry with you throughout the day.

If at-home treatments do not work, or your anxiety worsens, you may want to speak with a doctor. If they diagnose you with an anxiety disorder, you can work together to figure out the best treatment plan for you. This will often include a combination of medications and therapies.  

These can include:

• Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs): These medications help boost the amount of serotonin in your brain. Serotonin helps regulate your stress response and mood regulation. Examples include paroxetine (Paxil) and sertraline (Zoloft).
• Hydroxyzine: Hydroxyzine (Vistaril) is an antihistamine medication that doctors may prescribe to help manage anxiety symptoms by increasing relaxation. It has a low potential for dependence.
• Talk therapy: Talk therapy, or psychotherapy, allows you to talk through your thought patterns with a therapist. They will help you learn how to adjust and challenge your thinking to reduce feelings of anxiety. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common type of talk therapy.

If you need help covering the cost of medications, Optum Perks’ free Discount Card could help you get up to 80% off prescription medication. See how much you can save on your medication here.

Prevention

You can take several steps to prevent anxiety symptoms from developing after a breakup.

For example:

• Reach out to others: Support is important when you are dealing with emotional trauma. Sharing your feelings with family and friends can help reduce the intensity of your emotions.
• Avoid caffeine: Research from 2018 explains how caffeine can cause anxiety-like symptoms. So, if you know you may be susceptible to symptoms of anxiety, try swapping your morning coffee for decaf.  
• Take interest in new hobbies: Relationships can take time to maintain, so when going through a breakup you can find yourself with lots more spare time than before. This can be a great opportunity to learn a skill or try a new hobby. This can help distract you from negative thought cycles and prevent feelings of anxiety.

Summary

Breakups can leave you feeling thrust into a new way of life, and sometimes with unanswerable questions. They can be traumatic emotional events that trigger symptoms of anxiety, particularly in people with anxious attachment styles.

There are many different ways you can try to manage these symptoms at home. Still, if you find yourself unable to move past feelings of stress, talking with a therapist can help.

With enough time, the post-breakup anxiety will fade and leave space for a new, stronger you.